Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Why are we still hiding?

"Black is beautiful at its purest form. We need not be, manipulated, fixed, or assimilated. We are beautiful just the way we are."


As a newly natural diva I did what most people do. I did my research. There was no way I was going to cut all my hair off without knowing what to do afterwards. I spent hours mindlessly watching natural hair tutorials and reading natural hair blogs. I, in preparation of My BC was looking for advice on how to style my hair, keep it moisturized and what types of products other natural ladies recommend. I did not expect however to find many videos on make up, how to be more feminine and how to dress once doing the BC.




Now before you call me crazy let me explain myself. I love make up. I really do. Give me 3 shades of mac eye shadow and I will make you fierce. I love clothes, I love dresses and heels. I love lip gloss. I'm obsessed with nail polish. I am a girly girl to say the least. But what I do not understand is the need to all of a sudden indulge in these things once you go natural. If you never wore make up in your life, then you do the BC and cannot leave the house without it, there is a problem. Did you just pick the lesser of two evils since make up is not permanent but relaxers are. And I understand how hard it is to chop all your hair off as a woman. To get rid of the thing that people believe makes you physically attractive. I totally understand as I did it myself (almost a month ago :). I understand what its like to look at males and notice that you have the same haircut. I understand wanting to wear more dresses, be more flirtatious and put on some heels, but is it permanent?



When your hair grows out of the low fade, and you can put it in a puff, will you still feel the need to indulge? Will you be uncomfortable leaving the house without your face on? Will you only feel like a woman when you are wearing stilettos? Will you still go to the gym in your sun dress? Will you go to sleep in your make up, and never leave the house unless you’re wearing earrings?



I'm not trying to cause problems. I really want to know. The things we think about ourselves affect us regardless of how we look. Some of the most beautiful women feel that they are unattractive because mindset is everything. If you train yourself to think you look like a male unless you are wearing lots of make up, heels, lots of jewelry and dresses you will always think you look like a male. How long your hair is, how feminine and soft your facial features are and how curvy your body is will not matter because your mind is already set.



Ladies I'm just saying. Isn't the point of going natural embracing yourself, who you truly are without the add-ons? We don't need to change ourselves to be feminine. Being a woman in itself is the most feminine thing you can do regardless of how you dress, talk, flirt or look. We don't need make up and heels to be women. I love both these things but when I'm in a t-shirt and jeans with my freshly washed face I still feel like a woman. And if I ever were to get confused, I would just look at my body to reassure myself that I am women.



Embrace you :)

When you roll out of bed (yes I said that) go look at yourself. Look at your face whether you have sleep in your eye, your face is swollen or your eyes are barely open (I know mine aren't in the morning) you are still a beautiful women. Whether your hair is smushed and dry or wild and disheveled you are still a beautiful woman. Whether you have slobber on your face or lines from your pillow case you are still a beautiful woman. You have to love you, even in the rawest form or else you will never truly accept yourself.



1 Peter 3

New International Version

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Hair journal entry #1

I have been keeping a hair journal since I became natural and I wanted to share some of the entries with you. Let me know in the comments if you like this type of post or not and remember suggestions are always welcomed :)


Journal entry #1

6/17/10


I think I'm getting used to the hair but I need to find more styles for it. I think its actually growing and its becoming softer and more manageable. I'm learning more about my hair and myself and I am enjoying the experience. Surprisingly people don't respond to me much differently now that I am natural. I mean some do but those people are not that important lol. I'm even more surprised by the way men have responded to me. I have been approached by better quality men since I cut my hair. Not only more attractive but more educated and usually having a job. I can't say I'm not happy about that. I am no longer hit on by the hood rats down the street. They no longer find me attractive which is good because the feeling is mutual.


For some reason I thought I would be on a guy hiatus once I cut my hair. I thought they would be scared away. But I was wrong. I was expecting myself to be less feminine and thinking that I would have to over compensate by dressing more feminine or wearing make up. I haven't had to do any of these things. I'm so thankful. My confidence has truly sky rocketed since I chopped my hair. I would do it over and over again if I had the chance. I no longer feel fake. I no longer feel like I'm hiding and when someone looks at me they truly see me. Sometimes vulnerability is a good thing :)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Hair Goals

I decided to make some hair goals for myself. Goals tend to make me more motivated and I enjoy healthy competition even if its only between me myself and I. And yes My hair Goals may seem a little far fetched but my friend efe always says
"I'm going to reach for the moon, so if I fall I will fall among the stars"

I am an extremist in all I do so do not be surprised:)
June Goals
  • find 2 more styles for hair
  • track growth
  • take pictures of hair
  • solidify vitamins
  • stop buying products
  • maintain moisture in hair all day
  • solidify regimen
July Goals
  • Gain an inch of growth
  • be able to style my hair in a small puff
I really want to be able to style my hair in a puff for my birthday ( August 1st). Hopefully I will with determination and dedication:)



Monday, June 14, 2010

BC story and pictures:)

As you may or may not know I did my Big Chop on May 31st this year. I was planning on doing it next spring but constant weave n blending issues frustrated me to the point where I wanted all The Relaxer Gone. I was also concerned because my sister’s wedding is in the fall and she does not want me in fake hair for the wedding (though all my weaves were human hair :). All these thing promoted me to Chop my hair early. I was scared, excited, confused, but most of all I was ready or at least I thought I was.

My new found decision and frustration prompted me to cut a piece of relaxed hair from my leave out. This was partly because I just wanted it gone and partly to make it so that I could not back out of my decision. I cut the relaxed hair off my leave out and was left with some wavy looking natural hair. It took all my self control not to finish my big Chop myself but I did not trust myself to cut the back of my head so I had to wait. I anxiously tried to sleep but I kept looking at hair blogs and when I finally did sleep I was dreaming about my hair. I was so ready for the new me.
I woke up after only a few hours of sleep and knew it was time. Unfortunately my timing wasn't perfect because it was also memorial day. My options for hair cutting were limited because of the holiday but I knew it could not wait because my week was booked. Plus who wants 2 walk around with their track showing (mine did after I cut the front of my hair). I decided to try Hair Cuttery as suggested by my friend. I called Hair Cuttery. Not only were they rude but they wanted to charge me an extra $50 because my hair was going to be natural and no one had experience with natural hair. I decided against them. I then tried another Hair Cuttery which was located in a less urban area. I called and spoke to a woman with natural hair who said she could cut my hair as soon as I came in. I was so excited. I prepped my hair and went on my way to the salon.
I went to the hair salon and introduced myself to the hairdresser. I saw that her hair was much different than mine. More of a loose curl than a kink. But I had already decided I was going to do it regardless. I waited until it was my turn. My mom went first. She was already natural and just needed a trim. The stylist
CUT her hair. She came in with 4 inches of hair and left with 2. Half your hair gone is not a trim. This made me a little nervous. My mom liked her hair and the lady seemed nice enough so I went along with it.
It was my turn. I hoped in the chair and my hair was slightly damp. She washed and blow dried my hair (which is strange because now it all looks the same texture). She then started cutting. She took off a few inches and I saw my hair on the floor. Slowly letting go of the old me as each piece of hair left my head. I was already in love. I told myself no matter what the texture was, no matter what it looked like I would love myself and I did. I was feeling good. I thought we were almost finished until...
She told me she would have to take a lot more off. I was confused. Before I got a chance to open my mouth and ask why she explained. She said my hair was uneven and that the front was a lot shorter than the rest. I knew this was true because I used growth aids on all of my hair with the exception of the hair left out of the weave. After she was done
I lost another 2 inches of hair. If you know me you know I am not afraid of scissors. I have no problem losing length because my main concern is the health of my hair. But I do have a problem with losing inches of natural hair that I carefully hid and babied for months. I would not have gone through the pain of transitioning if I knew I was going to lose most of my progress anyway.
Then comes the styling. The stylist proceeded to wash and condition my hair. She then harshly towel dried it. She then suggested products to me and told me my products were wrong for my hair. She tried to tell me things that I know are not true. I understand basic chemistry so I know better. Our convo went a little like this.
Stylist: What do you use on your hair?
Me: I use all natural products mostly coconut and olive oil
Stylist: Those are too heavy for your hair and bad for your scalp. You should use salon products
Me: I tuned her out
Stylist: You know I could have put a texturizer in your hair if you hadn't wet it. Do you want me to put one in next time you come in?
Me: Again tuned her out. I had no plans of visiting her salon again lol
She then proceeded to put gel in my hair with no moisturizer and sit me under the dryer. I left with hard, short, dry unhappy hair (all things that could have been avoided with a more competent stylist) but I was still
happy to be nappy:)

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Top reasons why I love being natural
1. No more running from the rain ( moisture is now my friend:)
2. No more worrying about my hair getting messed up
3. No more expensive salon visits
4. Less time spent on my hair in the morning=more time for sleep
5. More styling options
6.When a guy tells me I'm cute I'm no longer wonder if its me or my hair
7. No more burns on the scalp
8. My hair always surprises me n I love it
9. My hair is unique even from other naturals
10. I am embracing the hair God gave me

Whats your favorite thing about being natural?